On Assage.

Quit staring at my ass. I'm serious, I know it's summertime, I know my new blonde hair is just asking for trouble (the fact that I am phrasing it like just shows how sick and wrong our society is and its views towards women), but seriously ... it's unwarranted. I have visited states, lived in other countries, trasped through other cities--and I've never encountered such a rash amount of ooglers as in the city of Chicago.

Especially this summer.

Please, let me explain: The purpose of these words is not to make the point that men find me attractive--honestly, I am an average looking gal, I take care of myself, enjoy working out, enjoying feeling the high I get from my cycling class or the elliptical machine. But I do these things to sastisfy my own self, not anyone else's. Why, then, should I feel uncomfortable walking out of the YMCA in bicycle shorts (not short, mind you. Mid-quad) only to bump into two 40-something gentleman (hold up! too much credit!) who I can see cereening at me from the reflection in an adjacent window? Today, I had had enough. As I saw "the oogle" (dun-dun-dun) I whipped my head around and simply stared them down. They, obviously embarassed by their actions, whipped there heads around equally fast, prentending the whole situation never happened.

Here is a balance that I am finding impossible to strike--so I lighten my hair a bit, so I work out nearly every day? I do this because I know it flatters ME--I don't do it attract attention from men, or of anyone for that matter. On Tuesday night, for example, a male friend of mine told me that whether I want the attention or not, I'm going to get it, based on the fact that men are men and your actions and the perception you give off to the world are what people see. In other words, "It's your own fault, honey." It's almost as if he seemed to be saying, "but isn't that what you want? Why else would you do those things?" No, again--twisted! Why should things that make ME feel good ultimately make ME feel bad? They make me down right uncomfortable. How are the things I do for myself benefiting me then? I am not starved for attention nor do I get my self-esteem from men in anyway (an accusation slung my way in college due to my close involvement with my male friends, who I relate to and love very, very much). I am just trying to better MYSELF and flee from the male, summertime preoccupation and aversion with perversion. I have no problem flipping off cars who honk at me, or random dudes on the street that say "hey, baby." Fuck off. This world is complicated enough without you making me feel uncomfortable.